Hello from 2025! It’s a new year, and right along with my new years resolutions, I’ve decided to get back into weekly blog posts. December was a blur. If you were following my social media, you noticed that I spent all of the month away from my site. This is because I was in the process of getting a site change. I write from my new home in a new, more southern department.
It’s been a massive journey of reflection, grief, connection, and acceptance, not necessarily in that order, and certainly not yet completed to leave behind my home, the one I thought I was laying foundations for my next two years. I can already tell, though, that my new home is eager to embrace me. I have a large mango tree to sit under. I have a new, small school with excited students.
I visited my new site a few weeks ago when school was still in session. I shook hands with a few students and it drew a crowd. I taught them to refer to me as teacher. As I was whisked away by the Peace Corps car, a boy ran alongside us, shouting. I rolled down the window. “Are you a girl or a boy?”
“I’m a girl!” I shouted back.
“I am a boy!” he responded, peeling away and laughing. I was puzzled but pleased when one of the members of staff I was with pointed out that the boy was using the English he knew to connect with me before I left.
Speaking of language, I am now a student of the great language Adja. I know nohting of Adja. I’d been assured that Adja wasn’t dissimilar from Fon, but I don’t find that to be true in the slightest. Local language will be far more important at my new site. Some of my new neighbors speak no French whatsoever. When asking me questions, they speak louder as if the problem of my miscomprehension is rooted in volume.
I don’t have running water anymore. This isn’t as huge of an adjustment as I assumed it would be. I bought two massive water barrels that the apprentice tailors who live near me keep full for an allowance that I furnish, and I draw water for my toilet, my bucket baths, doing the dishes, and my cooking. I have a concrete floor that is always, always dusty. I’m resigned. When I have funds again (payday in around ten days), I’m going to invest in more sleeping mats to fill the floors and spare my feet.
My new house is quite large compared to my old residence. I can’t wait to go to a carpenter for tables for my kitchen, my dishes area in the back patio, and a good, old-fashioned dining room table where I can eat and grade papers.
I still have electricity! But my network connection is quite terrible. I’m going to have to go into town to upload this post. I’m already dreading maintaining my YouTube account under my new conditions. I love filming and editing and I have another video nearly complete, but the question is where do I stick around long enough to get it uploaded? On va voir (We’ll see)...
Earlier this week, I spent my morning and about half of the early afternoon going to greet the village elders, all of whom were happy to see me. One elder did, though, mistake me for the old volunteer who left in 2020, who was a man. It was another instance in which it became clear to me that local language will have to be more of a priority for me here. A lot of my village is simply inaccessible without Adja. I love that the culture of local language is so strong in my new department. I unfortunately only have two phrases under my belt in this moment. “Eyi çaba” (Ayy saba) to mean “see you later” and “Ay pay ka ka” to mean thanks. I’m not sure of the spellings, but I’ll update this once I find out. I like Ay pay ka ka because you can add as many “ka’s” as you want to intensify the level of thanks “ay pay ka ka ka ka ka ka ka” is accepted and appreciated immensely.
School starts tomorrow and I’m freshly armed with pre-tests and get to know you activities. I’m excited for a new first day of school. I’m also nervous, but who wouldn’t be. I’ve got this. My new school doesn’t have second cycle classes, so I’m losing my high school level students, but I also have Fridays off with my new schedule! It will be nice to teach multiple sections of the same class so I can redo instruction and learn more about tweaking what doesn’t go well. I’ve never had that experience before.
I’ve met with my new counterpart, and he and I really connected on our educational philosophies. We both came to the conversation with a flexible disposition and a desire to get to know one another, and I’m really optimisitc heading into our partnership.
I’ve also gone into this year with a new Peace Corps responsibility as a member of the peer support network. I’ve entrenched myself deeply as the vice president, and I’m looking forward to acting as a pillar of support and encouraging myself to step into that role as actively as I can manage. The training for this committee back in December was thought provoking and inspired me to find ways to more consistently keep my own buckets full. Peace Corps is trying to pivot to more sustainable development, and that means that my efforts in development need to be sustainable for me as well.
It’s radical for me to consider sustainability in my work: I’ve always been a goal-chaser and people pleaser who puts a bit too much on her plate. I got through by devouring the days. This year, I want to intentionally make space for savoring the moments instead. This will probably feel counter-intuitive, but I deserve to feel fulfilled and not digested by my work. So I’m going to give myself grace and permission to feel peace. Hopefully I’ll learn something I can take with me.
It isn’t a new year, new me. I am the girl I’ve always been, to quote Olivia Rodrigo. But this girl changes, step by step, and day by day. I knew to expect the unexpected on my journey, but still, my path has wound in an unexpected direction. That’s ok. Progress and work look different every day. When I get tired, I’ll rest. I’ll come back again tomorrow.
With love,
Lena
The content of this blog post is mine alone and does not reflect the views of the U.S. Government, the Peace Corps, or the Benin Government.
